What happens in life when life won’t give you lemons? You can’t even make lemonade.
This very real problem presented itself to me, when, after three failed attempts to get lemons (yes, three). I found myself wondering – what happens when you can’t actually get lemons?
Now I was wanting lemons to make lemon water in the morning- it’s super hydrating and delicious. I went to one store and they only had ginormous bags of lemons (too many for me) so I passed on those. I asked my roommate to pick up a few lemons for me at another store and while she was actively reminding herself to pick them up for me while there, in the end she forgot. I then ordered some groceries to be delivered and all of them arrived- except the lemons.
So now I’m left lemonless, wondering what happens in life when you don’t even get lemons.
Well, the truth is, it’s the difficulties in life that make us grow. Without the challenges (or lemons) you will not grow. Things in your life will stagnate and that will bring pain. Often, we think of change as bringing pain but change is constant. Whether it’s small things like shifts in the weather, celebrating holidays, and new entertainment (TV shows, movies, video games, music, you name it) coming out. To more substantial things like adjustments in what you’re doing at work, how you’re taking care of your body, and getting a new pet.
To major changes like marriages, births, deaths, children leaving the nest, moving, addictions, shift in financial status, switching careers, illness, and retirement.
Life is always changing whether you like the changes or not. But it’s the stagnation, the lack of movement that actually causes pain. It stuffs the soul into a box, and it’s like saying “I don’t want to learn anymore.” If you think about your physical health, you know what will happen if you do not exercise for a month or even a year. The best-case scenario is that you’ll either be the same as you are now, or more likely, that you’ll be worse off. The same is true for your life as a whole. Doing nothing to improve or trying to keep things as they are, will likely cause deterioration, creating pain and suffering.
“But it’s the stagnation, the lack of movement that actually causes pain.”
This is because with stagnation comes attachment to how things are now. If you refuse to let things change and progress, then you’re closing the possibilities to all that could be. You’re closing yourself off to greater potentials.
- If you’re in a job that you don’t enjoy, but you decide to stick with it because it pays the bills. Well, that is a choice you can make but it’s closing the possibility of you having a job that you love and that you’re excited to do each and every day.
- If you’re in a relationship where the person treats you fairly well, you mostly get along and you have similar interests. Maybe that’s good enough. Or maybe there’s the potential of finding someone that treats you amazingly, that you share similar values and passions in life with.
- If you’re a parent for a child who’s ready to go to college and their ideal school for the studies they want to pursue is located on the other side of the country. Perhaps you tell them they need to go to a school closer to home. Or, you could let them go to their favorite school, and accept that this means you may see them less. But this opens the potential for them to flourish and gain the best skills in the area they want to pursue.
Mediocrity kills the soul. It’s the fear of change. Fear of facing challenging situations. Fear of embracing lemons of life to change for the better and reach greater potentials.
So, what can you do when life gives you lemons? Because the truth is, when you’re faced with an uncomfortable situation, or potentially even a rude awakening, and you’re given this lemon it won’t become lemonade on its own.
A lemon, left as a lemon, can cause anger, resentment, “why did this happen to me” mentality.
To take a lemon and turn it into lemonade you need to do three things:
- Accept that this occurred and that you have agency. You have a choice, even if the choices are all difficult ones.
- Determine what all your options are, the good, the bad, the ugly, what are all the choices on the table.
- Go within (sanctuary meditation taught by the Modern Mystery School is really helpful here!) and decide which choice will make you most joyful and fulfilled in the end.
Important note here, it’s not what you “should do” or what is “right to do” but what you in your heart believe to be the best thing to do. There is no right choice, only decisions made in a moment of time. You decide what’s best because it’s your life, you need to be the one to live it.
“There is no right choice, only decisions made in a moment of time.”
Oftentimes what is best, in the long run, is often the hardest and most difficult in the short run. Going back to the exercising example, it can be easy to do nothing. It can be extremely difficult to embark on an intensive exercise and healthy eating program, but this choice will most likely improve your health and help you lead a longer, more vibrant life where you’re more physically able to keep doing everything you want to, even as you age.
“Oftentimes, the best decision is the hardest one.”
As you start to embrace challenges and go through this process of taking ownership and making empowered decisions in your life, your life will improve.
Anytime something challenging comes up, be grateful for the lemon because now, you can make some lemonade.
If you want help turning lemons into lemonade, reach out, I’d love to chat.
